The Investigation of Emily Grey

I BELIEVE IN MULTIVERSES!

I've been writing a new Daniel Miles story, one about if he would've stayed as a rural town police officer.


I don't know, maybe I'll change the hero's name down the road.  Maybe, he got transferred.  Maybe, I just really like the name.  Or maybe, MULTIVERSE!!!!!!! cop out

But anyways, if you'd like to read what I have so far, and please leave some criticism, the preview code will be up in a bit NOW.

http://figment.com/books/742566-The-Investigation-of-Emily-Grey

Click for NEW Early Access Code:

Hey, Lark, I'm having trouble even reading it. I can't seem to read passed the preview? Do I need to be a member on the website to read your story? This is why I haven't gotten back to you with my critical review muwahahahaha!

I just reset the access key and it seems to work now. I tried accessing it signed out and it looped back, hopefully you can get it now.

Okay, I read it... I don't know how much I can review so far considering so little is published as of now. However, I found myself engrossed. Even with the short chapters, I found myself wanting to know even more. You're very detailed, but I feel like there needs to be a little more explaining. Then again, the story isn't over yet, so maybe you haven't gotten to the nitty-gritty yet.
All and all, your sentence structure and dialogue keep me interested and I can't wait to read more. I, too, like to write for the fun of doing something different and I love reading others' material. Don't be afraid to be overly descriptive because you can always go back a take out what you don't think fits.

Hope this was helpful and honest enough for you. Looking forward to reading more and maybe then I can be a little more helpful. So far so good, and love what you've written so far. Keep up the good work!!

I like the use of "tote bags" Keep it up, I enjoy reading it.