BeyondGroovyGaming half-assed game reviews!

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BeyondGroovyGaming half-assed game reviews!

Post  BeyondGroovyGaming on Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:49 am

FAR CRY 3: The Real World Rook Island
(Light Spoilers)

Story Overview
You Play as Jason Brody, when him and his 7, 9, or 32 friends go skydiving on vacation and land on Rook Island where they are captured by the rather compelling bad guy Vaas. So JA-SON and his brother Grant wake up in a cage and have a frightening conversation with Vaas, setting the hard-boiled tone for this game. As JA-SON pees himself in the corner Grant becomes He-Man! breaks his restraints, kills a couple of pirates, then gets shot in the neck by Vaas.(THANKS GRANT!) Vaas gives Jason 10 seconds to run, so he Forest Gump’s it into the jungle, runs past a bear and eludes his enemies by falling in a river.(You nailed it Jason) Heaven shines upon Jason and he’s saved by a tribal freedom fighter named Denis who guides him as he tries to save his friends and bring the fight to Vaas.

Story Verdict
Jason grew on me some, as he goes from pussyface to Rambo(Not a bad transition by any means.) That being said I still hate more than half of the characters in this game. The only 3 people I liked weren’t even in the game that long and I was left with vapid, whiny college fratboys. The characters aren’t badly written, there just not likeable. While rescuing my in game friends I was kinda hoping Vaas would have killed them... I was disappointed. Though I disliked the characters there were some really choice pieces of dialog, mostly from Vaas. Almost every good line was followed by a lame one(I.e “Killing is wrong” After mowing down hundreds of mentally defective pirates.) . But the main offense of the story is the abysmal ending or endings if were being technical. I can deal with the mediocre script and some lame characters, but the ending is what made me go ”Well every thing I did in this game was a waste, might as well go have wank to Citra’s tits. After all I need validation. The realism factor is totally thrown out the window when Jason and his(Insert country of origin here.) sidekick start planning assassinations right front of the intended target. I mean really how am I to take this game seriously when the characters are shouting. ”Yo bitch we’re gonna slap your shit later! But don’t expect it!” Said generic character B. All that being said the story has some redeemable moments. From a drugged out docter to a disconnected C.I.A agent I enjoyed myself in the story occasionally. And I won’t be forgetting Vaas anytime soon. Nevermind I forgot him already.
Rating= I didn’t like it


Presentation
This game is beautiful! With a lush jungle, Gorgeous beaches, great water physics and some damn fine face models(except for the non-story NPCs) The music also hits every “tone” that it needs too, but besides that it isn’t anything special and is rather generic. I’m really glad the cut scenes were in first-person so I didn’t have to see the Abercrombie & Douche character design of Jason Broster. If it had been a third-person camera, I would switched over to Family Feud until the cut-scene was over and done with, so I could get back to the repetitive gameplay.

Presentation Verdict
EXPLOSIONS!

Gameplay
Fry Cry 3 is a FPS/RPG hybrid with such things as skills to upgrade and side-quests here and there. The gameplay can be quite fun, from ambushing pirate outposts, hunting down exotic animals (fuck nature) to upgrade how much loot and ammo you can have, climbing big radio towers to open up more of the map and unlock new weapons, being eaten by Croc-o-bears, or you can play poker and do races and trials... Yay. Taking over outposts and hunting animals is the main bulk of the game, while side quests end up being go over there and press X. You can use stealth when taking over bases or go in with your gun a blazing, HELL YEAH! Although the game seams slightly directed towards stealth with all the XP boosts you get from savagely stabbing blind A.I in the neck. While going in loud and proud usually leaves you high and dry with a empty shotgun when reinforcements shows up, you sometimes feel like your doing it wrong. It also doesn’t help that the controls on console are a bit clunky. i.e you’ll be on fire and trying to put yourself out by holding the Y button, but “oh no” you didn’t wait for the prompt, so you’ll heal yourself instead and the fire will drain your health causing you to use another healing syringe all while the game is telling you “Use a fireproof syringe, you big dumb baby. Have you ever played a game before?”
Climbing the radio towers is a decent break form the shooting gallery, expect that you do it 18 different times without much variation. Hunting has a purpose until the game forces you to do story missions, so you can get more cool tattoos that unlock more skills to upgrade.(I had 6 extra skill points that I couldn’t use until I progressed in the story.)There are some cool customizable guns, but they be cooler if some of the sights didn’t look like a puckered butthole. “Boss fights what are those?” Asked Ubisoft. “We’ll just use QTEs, after all gamers don’t want to actually play the game. Right?” Wrong, this game did a good job of making you hate Vaas and he just dies by a dumb QTE in a very unclear dream world. Oh, gosh darn was I disappointed by this. I wanted a fucking throw down with that prick, but NO I have to be told to PRESS THIS BUTTON NOW instead of something intelligent, or a well designed gameplay scenario.

The fun doesn’t make up for the monotonous, hand holding, scripted set pieces, QTE boss fights of this game. Clearing out 32 slightly different outpost is repetitive, hunting is only has a purpose for half the game, and everything else is just a distraction from the fact that this game lacks depth and any interesting mechanics.
Far Cry 3 can be fun, but one playthough is more then enough, anything after that is a bore. Also the multiplayer and CO-OP are so tacked on that they aren’t worth the 10 dollar unlocking price.

Gameplay Verdict
Fun, but lacks depth and anything that interesting. There is only so many times I can stab dudes in the face before it gets boring.


Summary

I assume that Uuuuuubisoft design thoughts were “Hey, Skyrim and COD are popular games, lets just cock slap those two together and maybe we’ll have a game.” “DON’T FORGET THE QTE’S!” Said the janitor whom also wrote the ending. With shitty boss fights, lame characters, insistent hand holding, clunky controls, monotonous gameplay, and a restrictive non-useful skill system I can’t recommend it. Far Cry 3 is draped in guts and the sense of a story and fail to see why it got such high praise. I guess we’re giving out 10/10 for games that function.

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Re: BeyondGroovyGaming half-assed game reviews!

Post  Lark Dawkins on Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:29 am

This review was 7 years in the making!

I don't think you should blame the story on the janitor, he's the only person in the building with some degree of skill.
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Re: BeyondGroovyGaming half-assed game reviews!

Post  BeyondGroovyGaming on Thu Apr 11, 2013 3:25 pm

Lark Dawkins wrote:This review was 7 years in the making!

I don't think you should blame the story on the janitor, he's the only person in the building with some degree of skill.
HA! No doubt.
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