Star Ocean 4: Teen Angst Galaxy Force!

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Star Ocean 4: Teen Angst Galaxy Force!

Post  Lark Dawkins on Mon Jan 21, 2013 6:33 am

2064, in the distant land of just about everywhere on Earth, World War III was nearing it's end. Being the future, every country has access to nukes, which all simultaneously launch at once, obliterating the hell out of Earth. Realizing that was possibly the dumbest thing ever, all the countries form and alliance that agrees upon two things. Developing intergalactic space travel and ignoring any possible side-effects of extreme exposure to radiation. Ten years later, scientists perfect warp drive after piecing together old ruined copies of Star Trek on VHS.
In 2074, preparations for the first ever expedition to another star system were made and five ships were assembled to lead the journey. Determined to beat his childhood rival, Blue Crowe Figgledorn Almedio, Lieutenant Badass EDGE MAVERICK joins the SRF (Space Red Field) as part of the ship Calnus. The crew included Captain Baguette von French, Generic Japanese Schoolgirl Sidekick, some dude's van, and Pawl Paulson (representing the XBFC), as well as some random guys. Shortly after departure into slipspace, the Calnus collided midstream with an unknown armored soldier with a machinegun turret, throwing it off course.
The ship was forced into a crash landing on Jurassic Planet. Due to lack of foresight into integrating seatbelts into the safety schematics, the crew had been thrown about the cockpit. EDGE MAVERICK used his expert training to assess that the best course of action was to violently shake everybody in the cockpit to make sure they were fine.
Outside, the crew was setting up camp when out of the shrub came horrible insects with magic shields that rendered the advanced firearms used by the crew completely useless. EDGE MAVERICK bravely charged into battle, armed with only a butter knife, and brought home dinner for everyone. Sadly, three unnamed soldiers died.
Once the danger was over, Captain Baguette discovered a crashed SRF ship near their location and sent EDGE MAVERICK and Schoolgirl Reimi to go investigate. Upon arrival, they discovered the ship destroyed in the ocean and on the beach was a dying crew member. EDGE MAVERICK attempted to utilized his first aid skills deployed earlier, but the man was lost. Then a Space Elf appeared. His name was Space Elf Faize Sheifa Beleth the Space Elf. He had a space rock collection. It was nifty.
Completely distracted, the group didn't notice Dagon of the Deep Ones approach from behind and were ambushed by his tentacle attacks. (Well... Reimi was attacked... seriously... only Reimi. That is how I won the boss fight, because Dagon was too busy molesting a japanese schoolgirl. What the hell Japan?) Little did the Deep One know, he was attacking the one, the only, EDGE MAVERICK. The group swiftly made the beast into a delicious plate of kalimari. Afraid of angering the Elder Gods any further, the trio ran back to Calnus. When they returned, it was revealed that multiple Space Elves appeared and built a research station, docked the Calnus in a hanger for repair, opened up the first cross species operated store, and made love to all the human elves within the hour. (AN HOUR! SIXTY SPACE SECONDS!!!!!)
Once the Calnus was returned to operating conditions, Captain Baguette decided to resign to fulfil his dreams of opening up a space bakery on a foreign planet. With his resignation, he promoted Lieutenant Badass EDGE MAVERICK to Captain Badass EDGE MAVERICK, Reimi Schoolgirl to First Officer Reimi Deecup Schoolgirl, and Space Elf Faize Belethor to Space Elf Space Elf Space Elf. And with that, the Teen Angst Galaxy Force was formed.
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Lark Dawkins
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Best story ever

Post  BeyondGroovyGaming on Tue Jan 22, 2013 2:59 am

That Dagon has good taste. pig
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